I have recently read a couple of books about John
Wooden. If you don’t know John Wooden,
he was the coach of the UCLA Bruins Basketball team from 1948-1975. During that time he won 10 National
Championships in 12 years and was named the Coach of the Century by ESPN in
1999. He retired with the highest
winning percentage of any other coach.
Coach Wooden considered himself a teacher rather than a
coach. He never disciplined his players
with wind sprints or extra basketball drills.
These were things he worked on in practice not as a punishment but as
conditioning. His only form of dealing
with disobedient players was to let a player “ride the pine” (sit a player on
the bench), or dismiss them from the team.
He would meet with players who struggled to do things his way and simply
tell them, “Do it my way or play for someone else.” He once told Bill Walton, the perennial All
American and Hall of Famer before the first practice of the season to either
come back before 4:00 PM with a haircut or be kicked off the team. Walton (who was the nation’s best player the
year before) said he ran as fast as he could to the barber shop to get his hair
cut because he knew his coach was serious.
When people asked Coach Wooden the key to his discipline, he
responded by saying he never had to discipline his players. His job was to set the boundaries or the
rules and the player’s job was to discipline themselves to work within those
boundaries. A player never had to follow
the rules. Coach Wooden said he never forced them to follow his rules. He simply gave them a choice. Discipline yourself to follow these rules,
“ride the pine” or go somewhere else. It
was always the player’s choice.
That is the way discipline should be. Set clear boundaries and clear consequences
for not following those expectations.
Explain the consequences if those boundaries are crossed, then give the
child the choice of whether or not they want to cross that boundary. Be consistent in holding them
accountable. I consider this my role as an
educator and as a parent. Students I have
dealt with understand that I am not
disciplining them, they have chosen to discipline themselves by not following
the rules. The choice will always be
theirs. They will always decide if they
want to discipline themselves to follow the rules or face the consequences. It is always better to be proactive as a
parent than reactive. Giving your child
the choice and clearly explaining consequences helps you be proactive rather
than reactive to situations. This helps
you lead your child in the direction they should go.
